This is a defecation story. You have been warned.
Both my girls has been potty trained for about 18 months now. Claire took to it right away. Alice was much more reluctant. Alice is a very content little kid and likes to maintain the status quo if possible. The problem is that maintaining the status quo and growing up are not really compatible. As soon as I brought underwear home for Claire she had one accident and was potty trained. On the other hand, in order to get Alice to pee in her potty I just let her have accidents until she decided it wasn't worth it. Claire also pooped in the potty right away and hasn't looked back. Alice HATED pooping on the potty. She said it hurt and had no interest in it. I put a diaper on her so she could poop for awhile, but when I felt she was ready I decided to take the same approach as I did with peeing and just let her have accidents and work it out on her own. BAD IDEA! She held in her stool for 4 days and developed a tummy ache until I relented and put a diaper on her so she could run into her "pooping corner" and do her business.
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| Claire with her balloon and cupcake |
After that I decided Alice needed more time to adjust to her potty and gave up. I had no idea she would be pooping in her diaper for another year and a half. I have tried everything over the last 18 months to get that kid to poop in her potty from bribing, to rewarding Claire, to a "pooping chart." Nothing made Alice even bat an eye. She is an obstinate little thing (I have no idea where she gets that from :-). Recently I have been getting very frustrated with her. When your kids comes up to you and says "I need a diaper on" that is unacceptable. I have been racking my brain with what to try differently and have consulted many moms I know to help with the problem. We have a child psychologist in the ward and he suggested a big reward to be given after 6 poops in the potty. So we took Alice to the store to look at the array of toys she could choose from. We had to be fair and show an example, so Claire quickly filled up her pooping chart and was given a lady bug pillow pet. Sandy also got her a balloon and a cupcake for a "pooping party." No effect.
One thing I did that seemed to have at least a psychological effect was positive talk to her. I talked to her like she did poop in her potty. I would say things like "you are such a big girl because you poop in your potty" and every chance I could tell her that she did poop her in potty I tried to reinforce it as if she was already doing it. I think this did lay some groundwork and helped her to feel confident. When she told me she needed a diaper I would say, "but Alice, you are a big girls and poop in your potty, are you sure you need a diaper?" She would tell me she wasn't a big girl and needed a diaper. She would also come up to me after pooping in her corner and tell me she was ready to sit on the potty.
Another strategy I tried was to let her watch a movie while sitting on her potty. She would come up to me and tell me she needed a diaper on and I would say "Why don't you sit on your potty and I will turn a movie on while you push your poop out?" She would sit for awhile watching the movie and then tell me she was done watching and wanted her diaper on. I was at my wits end.
Most of the ideas people gave me I had already tried, but one mom suggested that I make Alice put her own diaper on and deal with it herself. If it was annoying enough for her, maybe she would relent. So I tried this. Alice would crawl up on her changing table, get a pull-up and put it on, run into her corner and poop. This went on for about a week until one day I could tell Alice really needed to go and she came running up to me telling me that she couldn't get her pull-up because a basket of laundry was up on her changing table blocking her path. I went to her room and was about to take it down when I felt inspired that this was my moment! I told her I couldn't get the basket down and that she had no choice but to go in her potty. She hesitated and proceeded to beg me to take the basket down. I told her that wasn't possible and that I would help her poop in her potty. She let me lead her to the bathroom where she POOPED! Much to my surprise. She was also surprised and delighted. Mind you her poop was about the size of a pea, but I cheered for her and acted as if it were normal sized. She kept telling me what a big girl she was and how it didn't hurt. I was so relieved and felt that we had turned a corner. We dusted off the old pooping chart and put a sticker on it.
After that both Marc and I didn't want to loose the tenuous ground we were on so Alice was not allowed to poop in her diaper after that. Her next poop was also very small and she still struggled and would hold it for awhile until she needed to go badly enough, but she was at least trying. Finally by her third poop it was a normal size. Her new favorite thing at this point was to poop in her night diaper before she got out of bed so there was no fight. This got old fast.
For her half birthday she had received a Jesse doll from Toy Story and really wanted a Woody to go with it. We would remind her that if she filled up her pooping chart, we would go buy her a Woody doll and this helped. Finally she pooped 6 times (well 4 if you don't count the minuscule ones). We marched her down to the Disney store to buy the Woody doll. The problem was that they were out! So she picked out a large stuffed turtle from Finding Nemo as her reward. Sandy also gave her a "pooping party" as promised.
After her pooping chart was full she still wasn't getting the hang of it and was regularly pooping in her night diaper. We decided she needed another pooping chart for the Woody doll she wanted. I went online and bought a Woody doll and a Bullseye for her. Once these arrived I showed them to her and put them on top of the piano for her to look at and work towards. She struggled to fill up her chart for Woody and finally got her Bullseye yesterday. The child psychologist told us that 6 times was enough for her to feel like she could do it, but it was really more like 15. The last few poops she had were easy and she went without a fuss.
Alice is finally fully potty trained! Both girls still wear night diapers, but there is no rush on that.
