My Golden Birthday

I have heard that your golden birthday is when your turn the age of the day your birthday is, for example. On the 29th I turned 29. This was a less than ideal birthday and Christmas season. This is not a happy post, but most people have heard what has been going on with me so I will write it down for posterity. It is long and gruesome, so you have fair warning.

Right after Thanksgiving I started having some unusual pain and bleeding. I thought that my IUD was out of place so called my doctor to get an ultrasound. When they did the ultrasound they discovered that my IUD was indeed in place, but that I was pregnant. There was quite a bit of bleeding but the IUD was below the pregnancy so my doctor thought that we could remove the IUD without disturbing anything. I was a complete wreck for the next 4 days thinking about all of the logistics of having another baby right now. Our house is too small, our car is too small, we have no money, I would be looking for a job about the time the baby would be born, all that kind of stuff.

On the afternoon of Dec 3rd I felt a non-painful rip and started gushing blood. It was obviously a miscarriage, which because of everything that had happened, wasn't a complete surprise. The bleeding was pretty intense, but having never experienced a miscarriage before didn't know how bad it really was. I had some Loratab left over from a previous surgery, so took one and went to bed at about 6:00. At about 10pm I woke up in pain and went upstairs to take more meds. On my way back downstairs I fainted due to loss of blood. I didn't hurt myself, but it was at this point that Marc insisted I go to the ER. Marc's mom was kind enough to come to our house in the middle of the night to watch the girls.

We went to the U of U ER which was really great. They got me in and seen right away. I passed a lot more blood and clots while there. They hooked me up to an IV but decided I didn't need a blood transfusions, just a lot of fluids. They also did an ultrasound which confirmed that the baby was gone but there was still quite a bit that needed to come out. By the time we left the hospital most of the bleeding had stopped and I was no longer in pain. However, they still sent me home with some pretty good drugs and instructions to take a pregnancy test in a couple to weeks to make sure everything had passed that needed to.

I assumed that with the intensity of bleeding, etc. that this was over with. However, on the 16th I started bleeding and passed a few more clots. I took another pregnancy test and sure enough it was positive. I called my doctor who insisted I come in right away and have blood work and another ultrasound. My pregnancy hormones were still high and the ultrasound revealed there were still "retained products of conception." At this point I was given Cytotec which you insert vaginally and it opens the cervix to complete the miscarriage. I started this the next day and passed a few more clots. Since not much happened I did a second dose which accomplished nothing except giving me a screaming headache. I called my doctor to tell her what happened and she hoped that the little I passed was everything but told me to take a pregnancy test on the next Monday. Sure enough, it was still positive. On Monday I came in to do another blood test which showed that my HCG was still pretty high. She offered to let me do another round of Cytotec or go for a D&C. This had been such a long and drawn out process that I was ready to just have the surgery and be done with it. The two options for me were to do it on Monday (school starts on Tues) or yesterday (my birthday). I opted for yesterday.

I was told not to eat after breakfast and to come in at 3:30pm and we would probably do the surgery around 4:30. I got checked in, the IV put in and we waited, and waited and waited. I wasn't until 7:00pm that I was taken up to the OR. I was glad that I brought my computer and had something to do while waiting. I think the worst part of it was how hungry I was. I was actually OK until about 5:00 and then it really started to get to me. When I was wheeled up I had to wait for a few minutes outside of the OR until my doctor got there. I remember talking to the anaesthesiologist, he gave me some drugs that made me feel dizzy and then I was in recovery. I actually don't remember even waking up. When I came to consciousness I was already in the middle of a conversation with the nurse. It was weird. My doctor said everything went fine and hopefully this is the end of the saga. There are some worst case scenarios that could still occur but I am trying to stay positive. I did tease my doctor that because of all of this nightmare I will be one of the patients she tells stories about to her colleagues. She agreed.

For most of the day I was fine. I wasn't too upset about the way everything went down. I just carried on with my day, except for skipping my birthday sushi lunch. The only time I lost it was at the hospital. Everyone was going on and on about what a horrible day it had been that when the OR nurse gave me this look I started crying. That was the only time. I just wanted to scream "WILL EVERYONE QUIT TALKING ABOUT HOW AWEFUL THIS IS FOR ME, I KNOW!"

There were a few bright spots to my day. I got a new iPod because my old one had died, and I finally got an internship set up for my last semester. I applied for several internships that I didn't get and was getting really worried that I wasn't going to be able to set anything up in time for the new semester. I emailed one of my favorite teachers who I knew was taking interns starting in January. I begged him to let me do my internship with him and he is letting me. So at least that is a relief.

If there are any updates to report I will send them out, but lets pray that there are not.